Editing Part 1: Meet Trooper––Where Did He Come from?!?!

Alas! My baby died. 

My precious, ancient, beautiful laptop finally died. That's my official excuse for why I haven't updated in a while ;)

So I promised to talk about editing. And, well, I don't really know anything about editing. That's actually why I promised to talk about it––this'll force me to actually think about it. 

To start off with, I began re-reading my story. It was better than I had feared, but worse than I had hoped. I was somewhat surprised by what I found. Allow me to introduce the actual story to you.

In a world of perpetual cloud-coverage and endless cold, the Sun endows few, certain individuals with it's glorious power. Fire springs to their fingertips upon their call, they can feel the presence of those around them, they can influence the feelings those presences, and, it is whispered, they can change the course of fate itself. Blessed, they are called, for their goodness and light, and the Sunblessed rule the world in wisdom and power.

Vivas is a cold, dark, evil city, bordered by incredibly high, stark walls to detain the criminals within. One walks alone in Vivas, for you can trust no one. The darkness is most dreaded; nothing but evil wanders the streets during the moonlit hours. Nothing good ever comes out of Vivas. Nothing good ever could come out of Vivas…supposedly. Why, then, is Tigress––a brutal, Vivatrian girl of the streets––Sunblessed?

Intrigued by this phenomenon, Aramis, a master Sunblessed, has taken the girl in and begun training her in the finer arts of the Sunblessed. Soon the capable pair is sent to find the dangerous, Vivatrian escapee, Scorpion, and bring him to justice. Scorpion leaves a dangerous trail, however, and leads the unknowing Aramis and the wary Tigress back into Vivas herself into a circle of desperate, wretched, human darkness.

Only the Moon shines down upon the clouded city.

Blah, blah, blah. That's my official unofficial sort of 'back-cover'. Summaries are harder to write than you'd expect. This one came out corny––but there was so much I wanted to tell! Anyway, now that you know the basics of the story, I'm going to focus on what I discovered.

The main character is, as you probably guessed from the intro, Tigress. In some ways her character could be summed up in this clip:

Aramis raised his eyebrows. "You're waiting to interrogate him until no one's around? Wow, that's very…shifty. Still," he added, "It shows more subtlety than you usually show."

"I...I know, I'm doing a poor job of this, aren't I?" She faltered.

"Hmm, well, from the sound of things you've threatened and cajoled information out of ev

ery single citizen in this run-down little place. Quite thoroughly, I must add," he said brightly.

"You've never had me do this before. Why can't you deal with the people and let me handle what I do best?"

"And what is it that you do best, Tigress?"

"Hitting things," she answered promptly. "Also killing, stealing, threatening, beating, smashing, destroying, lying to, looking at, listening to, and––occasionally––eating things. Those are where my talents lie. Not talking to people––not talking to these people, at least."

Though Tigress is untrusting, she adores Aramis and would do anything for him, but she's still insecure. In Vivas she knew the ropes and could tightrope walk them blindfolded. Her training with Aramis has begun to break down her confidence as she's realized there's so much she doesn't know and can't do. Aramis pushes Tigress, too, in a way no one else has ever done before. 

Above all, she is a Vivatrian Insider, and the City left her mark on Tigress. Her absolute trust of Aramis and a young man named Striker are unique. The first chapter demonstrates the full extent of her suspicious nature––she refuses to shake hands, she cringes at friendly gestures, she takes the innocent flirting of a young man as something of a much more sinister nature, she mentally demolishes the village she's in and plots how to carry off all the plunder…

However, as well characterized Tigress is in the first chapter where we really do feel that her trust of Aramis is unique (we have yet to meet Striker at that point), once we enter Vivas that whole side of her character disappears. Suddenly she's not in a quaint old-fashioned village where people are friendly and open, she's in Vivas where everyone is the same as she. She actually appears more trusting than the average Vivatrian because she's not contrasted so much. And then as she associates only with Aramis and Striker, we lose more and more of her suspicious nature.

Even as I began to realize these things, it sank in even further. I had lost more than just Tigress' suspicion, I had lost her. I left the first chapter as the character development, then proceeded to put Tigress through action scene after action scene. Striker gets introduced and is allowed his sixty seconds of definition, then it's back to action. Somethings always happening, and Tigress just responds to or initiates that happening. 

I lost Tigress emotionally. You don't feel her like you do in the first chapter. Sure, there's an emotionally charged scene where Tigress makes a huge sacrifice, but in her daily dealings we no longer feel her. I lost her.

And I want her back.

Now, to fully realize where I lost Tigress, I needed to take a step back. Allow me to show you a little of the story's history.

Originally it started as a story about a rich, aristocratic girl (who would eventually become a boy and then turn into Striker) that reached out to the street-urchins of the city and helped them make more of themselves. Slowly I added the dangerous nights, the evil of the city, and then I invented Striker's two greatest disciples, Tigress and a fellow I came to call Trooper. 

The story took a major shift at this point, and became less about Striker and more about Tigress and Trooper. Tigress represented the darker side of Vivas. She was a girl with a history of ups and downs. She had been low, raised up, then crushed again, and then had this cycle repeated (Aramis had been murdered before this story began). Her arc was that she was afraid to believe in Striker's idealism, because experience told that it only led to pain. Trooper was the self-righteous son of the chief police that was slowly discovering cops and the bankers that Striker had abandoned weren't so good as they had indoctrinated him to believe––slowly, though. Learning that Tigress was a criminal would have––and did––create some problems.

The city (bankers, cops and gangs), provided the antagonist––i.e. Striker was captured by a gang leader and Tigress led the desperate mission to save her, the group is trapped by cops and is forced to fight their way out, etc.––but the main tension was between Tigress and Trooper. Tigress as the supposed criminal, Trooper as the cop. 

Over the years I shifted from the little gang helping children survive, and eventually dumped the project altogether. Then I came up with Sunblessed, and somehow it worked its way into my clouded city. I hadn't liked the original plot, however, and when I began planning for my three day novel I thought I would chop it up and spit it out as something different.

Trooper didn't make it.

Alas, somewhere in the process, my cocky little cop got cut out of the storyline. Aramis was reintroduced in his stead (my sister had never forgiven me for killing him off) and I eventually forgot about him…

…Until I realized that Tigress had grown weak.

How do I fix that? I bring Trooper back. 

Adding an entirely new main character is no small task. He's not just a placeholder. I can't just go through the draft and every time the group is together add the name Trooper into the mix, I have to give him a personality, he needs to speak in accordance to his personality, he needs development, he needs an arc. He needs a purpose.

Is Tigress the only reason I reintroduced Trooper? I've already written the end, so does that mean Trooper has no part in it? He deserves a part in the end, I should think, but how to fit him in? Will he be too distracting and deviate the reader's attention away from the important facts of the plot-line?

These are all questions I'm asking myself over and over again as I begin to write. Trooper is far less distinctive in character than Striker, whose quirky, genius, idealism set him apart, or Aramis, whose power as Sunblessed and unrestrainable goofiness bleed through his facade of self-importance. So how do I write him? What do I know about him? He's intense, intent, disillusioned with his fellow cops, and intrigued by what Striker, Tigress and Aramis have to offer.

Most importantly, what effect will Trooper have on the story and on Tigress? For Tigress, he is the voice of criticism in her ear. He feeds her doubts with his own, he echoes the mocking whispers in her mind. Trooper may like Aramis and Striker, but he doesn't trust Tigress, and she doesn't trust him. Trooper is the external pressure on Tigress, the pressure that will force our main character to do things she may be reluctant to do, and come to decisions she may not want to make…

Through Trooper I can bring out Tigress' insecurity, her suspicion, her fear. Does she live Striker's way and trust? Or does she cling to what kept her alive all those years and Vivas, and live a shallow, miserable life of fear and cruelty? Trooper is the fulcrum on which Tigress balances, and the tiniest shift in pressure will send her tumbling in the wrong direction. Trooper is the wind that blows her off-balance, pushing against her as he tumbles uncertainly. If I craft him well enough, I think he just might be able to bring Tigress back.

The rest of the story? My hope is that Trooper will add flavor to those early chapters once we're in Vivas looking for Scorpion. Now we not only have Tigress struggling through the mires of indecision, but Trooper is floundering around with her. He certainly has his own arc, like I mentioned earlier, and I hope the reader will enjoy the torment I put him through. He provides something for Striker and Aramis to theorize, philosophize and joke about. He also gives us an in with the cops of Vivas, something that was needed but lacking in my first draft.

Characters are important. We read books because we love characters. They add interest, make all the important decisions, speak all the words, etc..  It is not the plot or the setting or the magic system or the fighting that make a story. Characters make the story, and so when you don't have your characters right you've got to change something. 

Hopefully I'll get it right this time.